Child sexual abuse is widespread, cutting right across any economic, social, political, religious or race boundaries. It is an issue which is being vehemently addressed right across the political spectrum and it is time that men struggling against both their own and society's sexism began to consider what it is, and what preventative action can be taken. The experience of being sexually assaulted as a child is described by one author like this:
Then there was the pain. A breaking and entering when even the senses are torn apart. The act of rape on an eight year-old body is a matter of the needle giving because the camel can't. The child gives, because the body can, and the mind of the violator cannot(3).
Another victim relates the following state of non-being after a sexual attack by her step-father:
It takes away all dignity from your body, and from your soul. It is the ultimate invasion of privacy. There is nothing left. Your whole body - and all your feelings too - have been displayed against your will(4).
The immediate consequences for the victim are horrific - a complete violation of self has taken place. The child feels dirty and betrayed by a trusted adult. Feelings of humiliation and anger are often joined by conflict and guilt. The child may feel confused because she may have enjoyed the 'sex', against her will, and that since the abuse might have been repeated many times, and because she had no choice but to submit, the child might also feel that she colluded in what happened. This confusion, along with the threat of physical violence, leads to feelings of guilt, self-hatred and the likelihood that the victim won't tell anyone. Like Ward(4), I feel that terms like sexual abuse, molestation, harassment, incest are really fudging the rape reality. Apart from the obvious physical damage done, the emotional, sexual and psychological scars last a lifetime.
Most adult/child rape occurs in the family. Children are dependent economically, physically, etc., on adults; in particular, since we exist in a patriarchal society, upon the dominant male. Also, there has developed a psychological dependency among women on men, whereby women are falsely led to believe that their means of fulfilment is through serving the 'Other' - eg Man(5). This plays right into the hand of the family child-rapist, since he can manipulate his power to avoid discovery. A daughter may feel that she has no choice but to accept her fate, and that any disclosure on her part would not only risk physical attack, but she may well be blamed for the break-up of the family and the subsequent problems. Also, which is all too common, she may not be believed.
Often, the one adult capable of protecting the child, the mother, proves inaccessible. Rather than viewing the mother's inability to respond and protect as collusion, her dilemma should be viewed in terms of specific and general man/ woman power relations. A mother may wish to deny what is happening in order to keep up the image of a secure family, along with the fear of what is to become of the family without a man to support them. Also, there is the belief that ultimately she is to blame, and the very real fear of confronting rape within the home. A mother's sense of self is shattered by her child's sexual abuse, and the fear of possible rape is experienced by all women. Denial within families has dire consequences for the victim. Of course, a brother may be the violator, and repetition within families is common.
Finally, the power difference is crucially enhanced by the obvious difference and knowledge of emotional and sexual vocabulary available to a child and an adult. Often a child may not know what is going on, but feels something to be wrong. Unless children have the means to protect themselves and articulate their grievances against an adult, the abuse will continue.
The present family can prove a deadly trap for children, but why do men commit such a violation? One explanation suggests that the father (violator), while placing his wife in the role of his punishing mother, when their relationship deteriorates, seeks closeness elsewhere, usually a daughter(6). However, male sexuality is increasingly alienated, at present, from actual emotion. Love and affection are confined to expression of 'sex', which at once provides a possible escape route and also the only apparent means for a heterosexual man to assert his sense of self, his self-respect(7). Consequently, in turning elsewhere, a man may be more likely to sexually abuse.
Secondly, the assailant turns to children to nourish him sexually and emotionally because of an inability, of 'failing', at meaningful adult relationships.
Thirdly, a molester may well have been abused himself as a child.
Finally, as Rush indicates, male treatment and attitudes toward women and children as pieces of property, to be 'rightfully' disposed of as they see fit, has a long tradition behind it(8). As property, as objects, women and children have been, and continue to be, in a state of powerlessness against their violators. Often, child sexual abuse has not only been not condemned, but seen as a man's 'right', in some cases. That so many assailants are possessive about their relationship with the abused child, and experience sexual jealousy if she becomes involved in loving, close relationships beyond his realm of control, would support this appraisal.
A major explanation and 'justification' comes from the theories of Freud, and their application. Freud was well aware of the horrors and reality of child rape, even identifying his subconscious desire for his daughter. However, rather than pursuing this knowledge in the face of the hostile male academic elite of his day, and along with the fears that his own self-analysis had produced, Freud shied away, turning reality on its head by the ingenious Oedipus Complex theory. In this, a child desires sexual relations with the parent of the opposite sex. For example, a daughter unconsciously wants intercourse with her father, in order to tap his power and satisfy her 'penis-envy'. Therefore, in covering up the reality of child rape, Freud excuses the assailant of responsibility.
This legacy exists today, in the sexism of 'experts' who lay the blame at the daughter's or mother's door. Alcohol, drug abuse, momentary loss of impulse control, or psychosis, are also 'excuses' used. One particularly sinister way is to view the victim as seducer, or temptress, a view which is reinforced by the exploitation of child sexuality in the media, advertising, and child pornography and prostitution. The assailant is projecting patriarchal perceptions on to a child, who neither has the vocabulary nor the power to fully understand what is going on. For instance, little thought is given to how a child gets into prostitution, and how a child can be trapped by powerlessness, homelessness, no money and the control of her existence by a male pimp(9).
The law also tends to make conviction difficult. Again, a child's word against an adult's may be disbelieved. The court situation is an intimidating one, which can result in children feeling confused, that they are mistaken, that they are partly to blame(10). Proposals are coming forward to ensure that the legal procedure meets the child's needs(1 1). Likewise, police methods as regards child sexual abuse and rape are being brought under a much needed and long overdue scrutiny.
However, Freud is useful in that he recognised that children are sexual beings. There is a danger in overlooking this when so-called 'protection' for children simply reinforces adult control over children. Child sexuality should be recognised and encouraged, enabling children the freedom to explore their own sexuality beyond the heterosexist boundaries at present. For this to be possible, children must be suitably equipped, to know their rights as full human beings, and the ability to protect themselves(1 2).
However, some advocates for 'Children's rights', principally those connected with the paedophile movement, tend not only to discount the inequality between adults and children, but even claim that it is the child who is in the more powerful position. This group focuses their campaign around the abolition of the 'Age of Consent' law. While the law relating to gay sexual relationships is oppressive (no laws exist regarding lesbian relationships, which remain legally invisible) state legal recognition of the adult/child inequality is vital at present (13). The paedophile apologists seem less interested in gaining full rights for children, but rather in legalising the sexual availability of a group of people who neither have the power nor the experience to give knowing consent. They indicate, in what they say, a failing at close adult relationships and have a tendency to project what they want a child to feel on to that child(14). For example, boy-lovers feel that they can regain their own boyhoods, free of responsibility, and one writer describes the boys he had been involved with as his 'young pups'(15).
So what can be done which both recognises children's rights to their own bodies, feelings and sexuality, and also prevents future sexual abuse?
Firstly, children must be encouraged to tell, be believed, protect themselves by any means, and taught to distinguish between 'good' and 'bad' secrets. Educating them to protect themselves, to distinguish between 'good' and 'bad' touches, and to say 'no' to an adult(16). The victim is the first priority, and it is essential to listen to their needs and respond accordingly.
Secondly, sex education at school should widen its horizons to encompass feelings, sexual choice, and sex as fun.
Thirdly, adult victims of child sexual abuse must be encouraged to talk, to learn from their experience and aid future prevention.
Fourthly, the legal process must be more flexible and responsive.
Finally, the present nature of the 'family', and its oppression of women, children, young lesbians and gays, requires a full discussion. The present nature of male sexuality, what it means to be a man, the power it holds over others, and its institutions need criticism and radical change. Unlike one recent anti-sexist male writer on the subject, I know that child rape is a sexist problem(17).
FOOTNOTES
1. Michele Elliot, Preventing Child Sexual Assault, pp 1-2.
2. Figures from Dr Tom Moran, Dept of Psychological Medicine, Hospital for Sick Children, Great Ormond Street.
3. Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
4. Lynette's Story, from Elizabeth Ward, Father-Daughter Rape, p 73.
5. Jean Baker Miller, Toward a New Psychology of Women.
6. Jean Moore, The ABC of Child Abuse Work, pp 26-27.
7. A Metcalf & M Humphries (eds) The Sexuality of Men.
8. Florence Rush, The Best Kept Secret.
9. Rush, Chapters 9 and 13.
10. Angelou.
11. A Phillips, talking on Out of Court, Channel 4.
12. K Millet, from The Age Taboo, ed D Tsang, pp 80-84.
13. See D Tsang.
14. Tom Reeves, in D Tsang, pp 25-35.
15. Roger Moody, Indecent Assault.
16. Elliott.
17. R Johnson, Incest Crisis Line, M.A.N. for Spring 1986.
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