Children need grandparents
Everyone agrees that our children are the most precious gifts we have ever received, or will receive, in our lives. Indeed, children alter our life even before they are born. In many homes, parents yearn for them, plan for them and dream about them even before they enter this world. And from the moment they are born, they take over our lives. Ironically, despite all our yearning and love for them, they have the potential of turning into our biggest nightmares later in life.
What goes wrong? It is not an easy question to answer on a general basis, particularly since circumstances are different from home to home. No one can generalise and say that the fault lies entirely with either the children or the parents. But one thing which I strongly believe is a universal truth is that in our desire to give our children what we did not get as children, we do not give them what we got as children.
Once the veracity of this statement sinks in, you will find many instances in homes across the land and across the socio-economic spectrum which bear it out. When I grew up as a child, I was narrated the great epics by my grandmother who imbued us with the values and morals of the heroes. My case was not exceptional as the situation was the same in all my friend’s houses. My grandfather used to tell us children had a lot of pithy sayings, none of which I have forgotten. Among the most memorable is this one which I have recalled many times during the dark phases of my life: A man who is drenched can never be afraid of the rain.
I do not see many such ‘growing up’ scenarios in the homes of my friends these days. Their children, who are in homes many times more affluent than the one I grew up in, very often do not have the benign influence of grandparents since these are modern nuclear families. Neither do my friends have the time to carry on with the great tradition of oral history of our country. Their children have the latest electronic gizmos but — for no fault of theirs — they have no value benchmarks, nor do they have any heroes worth emulating.
The scene is not too different in the homes of my help. There, television has killed the tradition of story telling and economic compulsion has made the parents work longer hours away from home, thereby giving them less time to be with their most precious assets.
I am talking here of just one instance which I am sensitive about, particularly since it is established that the first six years of a child’s life are the most critical to his emotional psyche. There are innumerable others, which I am sure you can spot if you analyse the situation. So think about your childhood and give your children elements from it while you still can. Else, you will eternally regret your inaction.
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor
What goes wrong? It is not an easy question to answer on a general basis, particularly since circumstances are different from home to home. No one can generalise and say that the fault lies entirely with either the children or the parents. But one thing which I strongly believe is a universal truth is that in our desire to give our children what we did not get as children, we do not give them what we got as children.
Once the veracity of this statement sinks in, you will find many instances in homes across the land and across the socio-economic spectrum which bear it out. When I grew up as a child, I was narrated the great epics by my grandmother who imbued us with the values and morals of the heroes. My case was not exceptional as the situation was the same in all my friend’s houses. My grandfather used to tell us children had a lot of pithy sayings, none of which I have forgotten. Among the most memorable is this one which I have recalled many times during the dark phases of my life: A man who is drenched can never be afraid of the rain.
I do not see many such ‘growing up’ scenarios in the homes of my friends these days. Their children, who are in homes many times more affluent than the one I grew up in, very often do not have the benign influence of grandparents since these are modern nuclear families. Neither do my friends have the time to carry on with the great tradition of oral history of our country. Their children have the latest electronic gizmos but — for no fault of theirs — they have no value benchmarks, nor do they have any heroes worth emulating.
The scene is not too different in the homes of my help. There, television has killed the tradition of story telling and economic compulsion has made the parents work longer hours away from home, thereby giving them less time to be with their most precious assets.
I am talking here of just one instance which I am sensitive about, particularly since it is established that the first six years of a child’s life are the most critical to his emotional psyche. There are innumerable others, which I am sure you can spot if you analyse the situation. So think about your childhood and give your children elements from it while you still can. Else, you will eternally regret your inaction.
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor
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